I really believe that one mistake that psychotherapists have been making for years is asking our clients to repeat their earlier trauma history over and over. We have asked clients to share their difficult memories in hopes that it will create healing and integration. It may over a long time, and I am not convinced.
What I do believe is that the more we repeat something the more vivid it becomes. Our brain hears the story as if it is happening right now. It’s like creating a painting. When we put in the details of colors, lines, shadows etc. the painting gets stronger. The crazy thing is that we may be repeating a story that isn’t accurate. Our memory is quite unreliable.
What do we do instead?
1. When you repeat the story, set the intention that this will be the last telling.
2. Before sharing the story, make sure that you want to tell it again.
3. If you choose to tell it, share something that you know now that you did not know before telling the story.
4. Ask for help so that you can change the habit of telling trauma stories.
We really might be asking our clients to share their beautiful and heart affirming stories repeatedly.
What do you feel?