I was working with a client yesterday and realized that I had started to glaze over. I had asked a question and then waited for the answer. I was being patient, but I did not hear a response. I thought about all the ways that I wasn’t clear enough, wasn’t patient enough and then finally the fact that the client wasn’t going to answer. By that time, I had to decide whether I would rephrase the question or just skip it. In that moment, I became clearly aware that we all hide behind walls of words. The “wall of words” is a loose association of words and phrases that are protective and reduce vulnerability.
Why would we use “word walls”? Clearly so that we don’t have to answer the question? So, then the question is why not?
1. Don’t know the answer
2. Too afraid to say the answer
3. Want to stall and hope that the other person will forget the question
4. Don’t know how to articulate the answer
5. It’s very embarrassing
6. You have so many degrees that your emotions are hidden. (lawyers, doctors and therapists are notorious for using words to protect)
7. It’s easier to say a lot of words then carefully think about a few chosen words.
By hiding behind our word walls, we avoid telling our truth. When we avoid telling our truth, we perpetuate unhealthy patterns. The listener stops listening and nothing changes.
Breathe before you speak.
Take a slow breath at the end of each sentence.
Really listen to the speaker and take a moment before you respond.
Pay attention to your heart and your gut.
Get back to the speaker if you don’t know the answer. It shows them that you care.
When we clean up our communication, we say out loud what is important to us. This is a very powerful action. Talking out loud communicates to our higher self that we mean what we say and say what we mean.
What will you clean up today?